


Me and my big ideas (Quick draft)

by Zombiequeen



Category: Roland Orzabal - Fandom, Tears for Fears (Band)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-02
Updated: 2019-03-02
Packaged: 2019-11-08 00:27:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17970968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zombiequeen/pseuds/Zombiequeen
Summary: After listening to Tomcat's Screaming Outside today, I decided to write a quick draft of how I like to imagine him composing his music at home! The title comes from the song found in RATKOS and is totally inspired by how I think the relationship with Roland must have felt sometimes, based on his own songs and interviews ...





	Me and my big ideas (Quick draft)

Roland's mind was everywhere. He had so many papers on the table, all his instruments were around, all the computer programs were open and some cables were a bit unstable here and there. Where was the pencil he just took from his pocket? He couldn't find it.

After storming around Neptune's kitchen, his studio, he slammed the door and went outside just to find himself in the mirror of the corridor. The pencil was just there. Stuck in his curly hair just above his ear! He decided to laugh it off and roll his eyes at himself. Roland, sometimes you are just a mess.

He ran back to his studio and slammed the door shut. He rushed to write down some ideas he was afraid of losing and obsessively checked the files he had open on his various computer screens. He hated losing time and ideas. Sometimes, something would come to his mind and he would be so proud of that idea and then, the second after, he would have forgotten all about it and damn himself to death.  
The long list of days ruined by his imperfect perfection. How many hours had he spent there all by himself without talking to anyone lately? And then coming out of the studio only to find out it had been raining the whole day and that no one even dared to knock on the door to disturb him. The long and cold way to bed after hours of work, only to find the love of his life sleeping soundly and about to wake up after a lonely night.

Sometimes he blankly stared at a random point of the screen. Or a random guitar string which he would mindlessly make sound with a finger as he thought on all that. Then he would smooth out his hair and pat his face to freshen up and keep on working. It really wasn't the best moment to be around him and he knew that.

After another hour of frantic work and two more composed songs later, he called it a night. He tried to walk down the corridor to the kitchen without waking up anyone. He grabbed a glass of water and gulped it down in a second. Did he drink or eat at all that day? He just couldn't tell. The answer was right there over the dining table: a plate full of nutritious vegetables and meat, foiled up with a note over it: Don't forget to eat! Love you.

He sighed and damned himself for a second. Then he put the dish on the fridge and continued walking down the corridor to the room. Again, his face in the mirror. His tired face. He was definitely getting older by the day. He checked his hair, all ruffled up. His tired eyes and eyebags. Was that a new wrinkle? He touched his unshaven face and decided he had had enough of that already.

Walking the cold way to the room where his loved woman was lying in bed, sleeping. He tried to get into the bed without waking her up, and somehow he did it. The position was a bit uncomfortable and he definitely could use a bit more of blanket. But he was just so tired to even care.

Roland fell asleep.

Daylight coming from the window and gently caressing his face. He reached out for her, but she wasn't there. Just an empty space, the size of a whole ocean. Roland opened his eyes slowly. He touched the bed and it felt cold. What time was it? She was surely gone already and it smelled like coffee.

Roland got up and into the shower. It felt so good after so much work. His face looked refreshed, calmer. He smiled at the mirror and practiced some looks to it. Like he used to do back when he was new at photoshoots and Curt would look so good in all of them without effort. Memories faded as he put on some clothes and left for the studio once more...


End file.
